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GirlFlash
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Country: United States
State: Minnesota
Gender: Female
Interests: Writing, music, music, music, internet, starving, obsessing needlessly
Expertise: 1. Musician, first and foremost!!!
2. And, as always...killing myself slowly...
3. Finding flaws in beauty, and beauty in the flawed...
Occupation: Other
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/16/2002
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dis·ease (d -z z ) n.:
- A pathological condition of a part, organ, or system of an organism resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms. (If I were such a helpless victim, I wouldn’t be here now.)
- A condition or tendency, as of society, regarded as abnormal and harmful. (Blending in with the herd: you = “baa-baa”)
- Lack of ease; trouble. (That would mean…pretty much everyone)
choice (chois) n. :
1. The act of choosing; selection. (I act upon choice)
2. The power, right, or liberty to choose; option. (Which I exercise)
3. One that is chosen. (You can have your cake, I’ll take my water plain)
4. A number or variety from which to choose: a wide choice of size or lifestyle. (What you see is the choice I have made)
5. The best or most preferable part. (according to me)
6. Care in choosing. (You’ll have to trust me on this one.)
7. An alternative. (An alternative to this equation: today’s average = LARGE)
anorexia ner·vo·sa (nûr-v s ) n.:
A psycho physiological disorder usually occurring in young women that is characterized by an abnormal fear of becoming obese -distorted self-image, a persistent unwillingness to eat, and severe weight loss. It is often accompanied by self-induced vomiting, excessive exercise, malnutrition, amenorrhea, and other physiological changes. (Not me)
"Pro-Ana" (sounds the way it looks) n.:
Proactive, volitional anorexia: Refers to an individual who is actively embracing the concept of anorexia as a lifestyle choice rather than an illness. By the word "choice" they indicate the active agency of volition, the seat of government in the human mind, the power of decision-making or of will. They are not "ED sufferers" but persons who have chosen anorectic praxis (practice) as a lifestyle of their own free wills. The core praxis of anorexia involves control over oneself: denial of appetite, restriction of food intake, discipline in exercise, etc. and they recognize it would be a joke to suggest mastering these skills could be the product of anything other than the continual, diligent execution of volition. (Ahhh! Now that’s more like it!)
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| Wow! What a wonderful feeling, this fasting, I've obliterated the gain I experienced from both a binge episode and feeling depressed...it's all melting away again, and I'm feeling so good! Could use a little more sleep, but it was my body that chose to wake up...how can I argue? Playing in Duluth today. | | |
| WWW.karenkellock.com
DISCUSSION LISTS
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Paleo-Fasting/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ana-fast/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/New-Age-Deception/
WELCOME TO PALEO-FAST
New members are invited to visit the
archives to view the ground we've covered with shocking truths thus far!
All are welcome to state their views, or to simply muse. This ain't no
ruse--and you've nothing to lose. Eat right, then fast--be healthy like a
baby, who coos. Fasting is the greatest high--the cosmic mind-cruise. Not
just fasting but the right diet--fruita and fauna: that's it--in twos.
WELCOME TO ANA-FAST
Lite as a Vapor.
A waif so thin
Ana is calling
Let the journey begin!
Ana's a lifestyle, not a disease, based on self-discipline, self-denial,
routine, order and other
saintly attributes. While we explore them further, feel free to enjoy all
three interrelated discussion lists:
WELCOME TO NAD (New Age Deception)
This won't make you sad---you've been that before, because you've been had.
Did it not surprise you that New Ager you knew, that he was a cad? It all
comes from deception (non-truths) that degraded that lad. Didn't he make
you
mad? Did you not stutter and stammer against all he had said? That's
because, you (and he) were being mis-led. You thought it was right, nice,
and saintly---but as falsehood it only brought anger-(your face, it got
red).
That fool and his phony philosophy sent you to bed. It's all what you've
been fed---to your gut, soul and especially your head.
Feel free to enjoy all three discussion groups:
Paleo-Fasting-subscribe@yahoogroups.com for discussion on rawveganfruit
fallacies; paleo-fasting and lacto-fruitarianism
ana-fast-subscribe@yahoogroups.com for discussion on pro-ana as a lifestyle
based on self-discipline, self-denial and routine.
New-Age-Deception-subscribe@yahoogroups.com to explore common New Age
deceptions in modern life
That's where I've been, and that's where I'll be....'Nuff said
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| 5.30 am getting teady for work...and I just realized that I can't do my usual morning walk to work. Why? Because I wouldn't be able to waddle fast enough to get there in time. I'm sick, fat and stuffed as a Thanksgiving Turkey. Lay me on my fat back cooked an ready with my fat pudgy legs in the air all ready for the carving leave the skin and fat, as there is plenty and only go for the lean, of which there is little (epecially in the breast area).
The food hangover is incredible this morning. I could feel my blood pulsing, and heat rising off my body last night, and the painful tautness in my gut knowing I always hated this feeling but contitnue to make myself feel this way. "There, that'll teach you to want to eat like the pigs you work with, live with, the ones who tell you you are wrong and too thin, and sick...this is what they are all the time...this way you are for one night. this is how they always are...Aren't you glad you are USUALLY better than that? Aren't you sorry to feel and act as they always do? You should be! No more food you little pig...get it through your fat fucking skull!"
My punishment...a loss of the feeling of purity, emptiness and thinness, and a much expected weight gain on the scale. WHY do I keep fucking up? And WHY am I so alone. I try to talk to others like me and get very few reponses...most of the time none. Why? Because I'm too fat and stupid? Or are they and just pretending to be the "elite anas"? I met an ana in person in Ames, IA, and she was great. We immediatley smiled and spoke to each other and bonded the minute I saw her when I walked in. Michelle. She kicked ass. There are some cool people at my group, and I've spoken to a couple via email...some less dedicated than others, some real nice, whatever...but just as it was in grade/high school...I'm considered a dork or a weirdo or whatever and for the most part rejected. Every place I go...maybe I should take this pic down...too ugly and fat. Fuck em all. I'll keep my vigilance anyway, and keep writing my songs...this group, whether most are dicks or not, still deserves a loud mouth on their side...and as a musician I can do that.
I'll go back to my fasting and wait in silence for the manifestation of all that's pure. Spirituality *SHIT*. I got my own. | | |
| Well isn't this nice? Another website for me to spend time on when I have more fun things to do, like, laundry! I'm driving schoolbus again, still writing, and finishing up with the cover band (www.sbzonline.com)...
My first pic...hey it's me drunk and high, how VERY rare. Summer fun, over now. Back to straightlace. But I can depend on my own neurosis to keep me entertained...I'm the one in the light blue tank...taken 2 months ago.
Special thanks to Catrina (www.bluedragonfly.org) for her awesome jewlery, her very supportive site, and just plain being ALIVE...if not for her, I wouldn't be here. | | |
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